A Money-Making, Grace-Filled Game-Changer

When you go to something like 100 parishes a year, you see a lot of different attempts at wooing youth. There’s a lot of pizza and a lot of awkward games and a lot of good people trying to lead a lot of reluctant teens (and some interested ones) closer to Christ. I’ve seen some great youth ministers and some great Bible studies but the most beautiful community of youth that I’ve encountered was at a random parish in Southern Maryland.

Two years ago (as I remember the story) the pastor of St. John’s in Hollywood, MD walked up to the youth minister. “I hired two teens for the summer, so…we need to find something for them to do.”

Fr. Ray and Rich started brainstorming and wondered: “What would happen if we got young people going to Mass and adoration every day?”

So they did. They set up a day camp for that summer and started hiring 16-22-year-olds to staff it. But this isn’t just a job for these young people: it’s a mission summer. Yes, daily Mass and a holy hour and a theology class are written into their contractual day. They have to go. But there are events every evening of the week, too: pool parties and encyclical study groups and girls’ nights and bowling nights. Some of them are intense and intellectual, others more concerned about building community; all are optional. But the staff knows coming in that their summer job is not a 9-5 deal. They’re there to serve and they’re there to be transformed.

Adoration at summer camp? Why not?
Adoration at summer camp? Why not?

Even on paper, it makes so much sense. Here’s a Catholic school standing empty all summer–why not use the facility? Struggling with low enrollment in your parochial school? Draw families in during the summer and they’ll become part of the community.1 Can’t afford a youth minister? Camp fees pay the summer program staff plus a full-time youth minister year round. Families coming in for Mass on Sunday but not part of the community? Build community for them. It’s easy to fill your rosters because you can charge less than any other camp or daycare in the area while still paying all your bills–and once the price tag draws them in, the Holy Spirit will do the rest.

Wouldn't you want to go to a camp where you could take lego robotics? Or American girl dolls? Or paper making or chess or film production or soccer or cooking or creative problem solving or "Exploring Religious Life" or anything you can imagine?
Wouldn’t you want to go to a camp where you could take lego robotics? Or American girl dolls? Or paper making or chess or film production or soccer or cooking or creative problem solving or “Exploring Religious Life” or anything you can imagine?

But you guys, this is so much more than just what is practical and reasonable. This program is transforming the parish. The families know each other so their kids want to be at church events. Some kids have been received into the church as a result of their experience with the summer program; other families started at camp because it was cheap or convenient and are back practicing the faith again after years away.

The biggest impact, though, is on the staff. These kids take a summer to serve and they come away transformed. They learn theology in their classes and discussion groups, but they also learn it in their conversations with their peers. They learn to pray both by being expected to do it every day and by being led deeper by leaders and friends. They learn what true friendship looks like by building community with the staff–community that lasts well past the end of camp.

It doesn't hurt that they're surrounded by priests, seminarians, and religious....
It doesn’t hurt that they’re surrounded by priests, seminarians, and religious….

And it’s not just relationships with their newfound friends that last. During that first summer, two of the staff discerned a call to enter seminary and one discerned a vocation to religious life. Two more will enter religious life this fall, strengthened by the support of this incredible community. The ones still in high school are volunteering as catechists and itching to get back to camp. Those who are off at college are generally going to daily Mass and spending serious time in prayer. Honestly, they challenge me, when we’re all hanging out and they suggest that we go to the chapel instead. Or when I tell them they can read the whole Bible in a year in just 20 minutes a day2 and they ask if that’s really enough time to meditate on it.

I’ll be real with you: I’ve never met young people with such hearts for Jesus. And it’s all because someone asked them to be holy. I’ve always thought the best way to reach young people was with truth and goodness and beauty, with the meat of the faith not pizza and cozy relativism. This summer program does it: no gimmicks and nothing washed down, just solid theology, intense prayer, and the expectation that you’ll give everything. Once you go all in, you’ll be amazed at what God can do with your meager gifts.

All you have to do is fill in the talent. Hey look, it's me!
Just fill in the talent. Hey look, it’s me!

Why am I telling you all this? Because you can do the same thing–and way more easily than they did. St. John’s believes in this program so much, they want you to have it, too. They’ve done all the legwork for you. They’ve put together all their resources: camp schedule, classes and curriculum, payroll info, even the forms you have to fill out to be accredited in Maryland. And they want to give it to any Catholic parish. For free.

Seriously, all you have to do is take the work they’ve poured into this money-making, grace-filled game-changer, write your name at the top, and sign at the bottom. They’ll help you through the whole process, simply because they see what the Holy Spirit is doing through their program. Will you think about it? Take a look at the St. John’s website to see what their camp is like, and maybe glance at St. Joseph’s, which is starting a camp this summer modeled after St. John’s. Then go see what they’re really all about and send the info to your parish. All you have to do to have access to literally all of their resources is contact the camp director and ask for the password.

I’ll be honest: I’m not sure how this camp will translate under different leadership. I think a lot of the transformation of these kids comes from the fact that their pastor and their youth minister are holy men with hearts for youth and no apparent need for personal time. But if you’ve got godly leadership on board, this summer program could do more than use your space wisely. It can strengthen your parish and make saints of your youth all while putting your parish back in the black. Sounds like a pretty sweet deal to me.

And if you’re near Southern Maryland, check out the classes they have to offer:

SJSP schedule 1SJSP schedule

  1. In 2 years, the camp has brought in at least 9 new students to the school. []
  2. Speaking of which, I just revamped the schedule to give you a better sense of Biblical history, spread out the hard stuff, and generally make it more awesome. Expect that post next week, God willing. []

“How does this work?”

One of the top questions I get as a hobo (along with “Where do you shower?” and “How did you decide to do this?”) is about logistics: how do I know where to go next?

It’s a complicated question, this, because it’s different every time. For example, I know where I’ll be next February 4th, but Wednesday morning I didn’t know where I would spend that night. Sometimes people contact me so far in advance that I build my schedule around them. Other times I go to meet a teacher and find myself in his classroom all afternoon. Sometimes I plan all year to go see an old friend. Other times snow blocks my path to Chicago and I end up heading to see a classmate in Peoria. I keep my Google calendar and a map of upcoming travels open in Firefox all the time for “planning” purposes, but a lot of it’s about flexibility.

Travels (more or less) from January to May. (Excluding Hawaii, which makes Google maps freak out.) The further out I plan, the less detail there is and the more days (or weeks) there still are to fill.
Travels (more or less) from January to May. (Excluding Hawaii, which makes Google maps freak out.) The further out I plan, the less detail there is and the more days or weeks there still are to fill. So that Peoria to Albuquerque stretch will probably involve quite a few stops but I don’t yet know what they are.

I mostly plan around invitations I’ve received and then fill in the gaps with what makes geographical sense. So how do people find me to invite me in the first place?

1. My blog

I don’t actually much like writing. You might have picked up on that from the fact that I do it so rarely. But I enjoy having written, so I do it anyway. And then people read it and like it and share it and their friends start poking around on here and see that I’m a hobo and contact me to set something up. So it all works out!

2. Facebook

These days it feels as though Facebook has almost as much to do with the direction of my life as the Holy Spirit. I’ve got a gap of a few days, so I post the time period and the approximate location on Facebook and within 3 hours I’ve got a place to stay and work to do. Or I’m worried about the snow I’m driving into and post my location so I’ve got someplace to sleep if the weather gets too bad. If you don’t mind reading about all my travel plans (and woes) on your news feed, follow me on Facebook. Who knows–maybe I’ll be passing through your town and we’ll get to hang out!

Europe in October3. Word of mouth

Last night, I spoke to a group of grad students because a friend of a friend of a friend knew someone who was involved. I stayed with women who knew the woman who knew the woman who knew the woman who knew my friend. Of course, many of the links in that chain are my real friends now, but it all happens because somebody tells somebody. That’s how I’m going to Europe in the fall (do you live in Europe? I want to come to you!!) and how I may finally make it to Alaska this summer–people who know people.

4. Straight up Providence

It’s all Providence, of course, but sometimes it’s more obvious: the guy who comes to check on me because I pulled over in front of his house to make a phone call–and then ends up praying over me in the middle of the street; the priest who introduces himself and then offers me a house to stay in and a youth group to speak at; the lady next to me on the plane who says I’ve always got a home with her; the broken-down car resulting in a plane ticket donated by a stranger. The crazy stories that keep reminding me that it’s not about me.

In the end, I don’t have to plan or worry or figure anything out. I serve a mighty God who’s been planning my hoboing since before there was time. After so many years of running my own life (and doing a rather miserable job), it’s a relief to acknowledge the he was always in charge. How does this work? Grace. Providence. And mercy working on a broken heart learning every day to trust. Thanks for all your prayers and support, friends–I couldn’t do this without the Holy Spirit working through you.

Favorites (For Now)

I answer a lot of the same questions when I speak: Where do you shower? How do you get money? How did you decide to do this? And I don’t mind answering them, but sometimes I get really good questions that make me stop and think. A recent one was my favorite parable.1 So I got to thinking about some of my other favorites and thought I’d share them with y’all.

Now, I’m a rather indecisive person, so these are all subject to change. And some of them really might only be my favorite today and never again. But as of right now, here are my favorites:

Jesus snuggling a lambParable: The Lost Sheep (Luke 15:1-7). He never stops searching for you, no matter what you’ve done. What a God, to love us so desperately and rejoice so passionately at our return.

Gospel: John. “The Word was made flesh and dwelt among us.”2 “I will not leave you orphans; I will come to you.”3 “Neither do I condemn you. Go, and from now on, do not sin any more.”4 “In the world you will have trouble, but take courage: I have conquered the world.”5 “And Jesus wept.”6 “For my flesh is true food and my blood is true drink.”7

Psalm: 20 (Grail translation)

May the Lord answer in time of trial;
may the name of Jacob’s God protect you.

May he send you help from his shrine
and give you support from Sion.
May he remember all your offerings
and receive your sacrifice with favor.

May he give you your heart’s desire
and fulfill every one of your plans.
May he ring out our joy at your victory
and rejoice in the name of our God.
May the Lord grant all your prayers.

I am sure now that the Lord
will give victory to his anointed,
will reply from his holy heaven
with the mighty victory of his hand.

Some trust in chariots or horses,
but we in the name of the Lord.
They will collapse and fall,
but we shall stand and hold firm.

Give victory to the king, O Lord,
give answer on the day we call

Sometimes, to memorize Bible passages, I set them to music. This one happens to be recorded on my computer, so if you promise not to be annoyed by the metronome in the background, you can listen in:

 

Book of the Bible: Isaiah. “The virgin shall be with child and bear a son and call his name Emmanuel.”8 “You are precious in my sight, you are beautiful, and I love you.”9 “Though the mountains leave their place and the hills be shaken my love will never leave you.”10 “Can a mother forget her children? Be without tenderness for the child of her womb? Even should she forget, I will never forget you. See, upon the palms of my hands I have written your name.”11 “You shall be called ‘my delight’ and your land ‘espoused,’ for the Lord delights in you and makes your land his spouse. As a young man marries a virgin, your builder shall marry you. And as a bridegroom rejoices in his bride, so shall your God rejoice in you.”12

And yes, those are all set to music in my head.

Bible Story: Jonah. I love what a drama queen he is. I love how he runs from God. I love how grudgingly he does God’s will. I love the fit he pitches after God works miracles through his reluctant obedience. I just really identify with him, I guess. Also, Moses and the buts, Elijah’s still small voice,13 and the sacrifice of Isaac.14

Jesus' feetGospel Story: The Anointing at Bethany (Mt 26:6-13). Scholars think that the oil she used on Jesus was her dowry. She kept nothing back, offering her past, her present, and her future in her desperate longing to be close to Christ. If only.

Place on Earth: Assisi. Have you been? Go! It can get crowded around feast days, but when it’s quiet, there’s a spirit of prayer that permeates the place. I love Rome, too, but Assisi makes it more possible to submerge yourself in the sacred without being dragged out by Vespas and lingerie ads. Do make sure you get to pray before the relics of St. Clare. She can be easy to miss in the hype surrounding Francis, but that spot before her body has been one of the most important places in my life.

Place in the Holy Land: the synagogue at Capernaum. You wouldn’t think it, given that I’m pretty much a professional Catholic, but I’m quite a skeptic. So visiting the Holy Land was hard for me–there’s just not a lot of evidence for the claims that this is the exact spot where Jesus died or this is the spot where Mary met Elizabeth. Since it doesn’t really matter, I didn’t much mind, but it did get frustrating, waiting in line for half an hour to see a place where Jesus maybe was 2000 years ago when I could walk right in to the chapel where he is right now. But Capernaum is definitely the Capernaum. It’s in the right spot and it’s even labeled. And while they like to tell you “This is Simon Peter’s house” or “This is where Jesus healed whoever,” eventually you get to the synagogue, which is the ruins of a first century synagogue. The only synagogue in the village, it’s pretty clear that it’s the synagogue from John 6. And the synagogue in John 6 is where Jesus gave the Bread of Life Discourse. Intense.

Saint: Josephine Bakhita. Okay, this is really hard. St. Damien and St. Catherine of Alexandria are my standard answers. I also love Francis Xavier, Teresa of Avila, Edmund Campion, Margaret of Castello, John the Beloved, and about a hundred others. But yesterday was Josephine’s feast day and she wanted to be a Sister so bad that she fought her “owners” all the way to the Italian courts for her freedom and then said that she thanked God that she had been sold into slavery because that’s how she came to know Christ. And then she lived the rest of her life in mundane religious obscurity. Yeah.

Josephine Bakhita

Hymn: Come Thou Fount.

O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.

Yes.

Praise Song: How He Loves.

The lyrics are just exactly what my heart needs to be reminded of: how he loves me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p7CQ96uohcM

The Annunciation by Carl Bloch
The Annunciation by Carl Bloch

Feast Day: The Annunciation (March 25th) This is where it all began. Mary’s yes brought about God made man. In being incarnate at the Annunciation, God the Son consented to 33 years of poverty, ignominy, and rejection, culminating in betrayal, torture, shame and death. The Annunciation holds the promise of Christmas, Good Friday, and Easter, and all because one girl was willing to do God’s will. What a day.

Book: On Being Catholic by Thomas Howard. It’s an intellectual’s love letter to the Church. Howard has an impressive vocabulary–so much so that I read it with a dictionary–but he’s not showing off. There’s a richness in here that you don’t encounter in a lot of modern writing. Just go read it.

empty tabernacleLiturgical Season: the Triduum. I kind of feel like it’s cheating to pick such a short and hardcore season, but it’s technically a season and it’s awesome. Tenebrae and the silence at the end of Holy Thursday and the empty tabernacle and the Seven Last Words and stations and priests prostrating and the darkened church and the seven first readings and the Gloria and the lilies and the Alleluia and the bells and the lights and the feasting! I always end the Triduum exhausted, even when I’ve been on retreat. It just makes my heart so tired–and so full.

Sacrament: the Eucharist. I feel as though I ought to pick Baptism since Baptism saves you and is necessary15 for salvation. And then I feel as though I should pick Confession since everything good in my life is the direct result of one good confession in 1997. But, oh, friends, the Eucharist! Jesus Christ in the flesh, holding nothing back, stopping at nothing to be close to you, desperate for you. Source and summit, “the center of existence” (Flannery O’Connor), “the one great thing to love on earth” (Tolkien).

Thing about being Catholic: Ditto. Also, the fullness of truth. Obviously, it’s the Eucharist. But a very close second is the confidence I have in the truth of Catholic doctrine, the knowledge that there is an answer to every question I have. It’s a truth steeped in theology, inviting questions and searching and hours of meditation, but the truth is there for the embracing. What a gift this Church is!

Okay, it’s on you. Tell me some of your favorites! Answer them all or just pick out the ones you can decide on. And feel free to throw a few new categories in there–I may even get around to adding them!

  1. Yeah, he was a Protestant. Catholics don’t generally ask about the Bible. Sigh. []
  2. Jn 1:14 []
  3. Jn 14:18 []
  4. Jn 8:11 []
  5. Jn 16:33 []
  6. Jn 11:35 []
  7. Jn 6:55 []
  8. Is 7:14 []
  9. Is 43:4 []
  10. Is 54:10 []
  11. Is 49:15-16 []
  12. Is 62:4-5 []
  13. 1 Kgs 19 []
  14. Gen 22 []
  15. By water, blood, or desire. []

A Day in the Life

People often ask me what a typical day looks like for me. There’s no such thing as a typical day, but today was a good example of how full things get–and how suddenly things happen! The average day is more likely to have a long drive, but other than that, today was pretty much par for the course.

Hanging out with somebody else's kid: typical hobo behavior. (That's Jenna's Ellen!)
Hanging out with somebody else’s kid: typical hobo behavior. (That’s Jenna‘s Ellen!)

7:30: start hitting snooze.
8:10: get up.
8:30: take somebody’s kid to preschool.
8:40: Mass and Jesus time.
10:30: make a new friend and eat some chips.
11:15: phone call from a friend: “Want to come meet the religion teacher at my school?”
11:35: meet religion teacher.
12:00: meet another religion teacher. “Nice to meet you. Want to teach my classes this afternoon?”
12:15: meet chaplain. “Nice to meet you. Want to teach my class during his free period?”
12:30: tell freshman boys to man up and fight for the women around them.
1:10: meet with administrator to solve all the world’s problems.
1:30: meet senior campus ministry all stars. Ask them their favorite thing about being Catholic. Be disappointed when nobody says the Eucharist.
1:45: tell freshman boys to man up and fight for the women around them.
2:25: give senior boys the hard sell: live for Jesus or quit wasting your time.
2:45: impromptu spiritual direction with a Jesuit who asks hard-hitting questions.
3:00: talk discernment with a handful of seniors.
3:30: stop by adoration.
4:15: process life and trust on the phone with a beautiful friend.
5:15: help with dinner and kids.
6:00: dinner. Defer to the dad when kindergartener asks what circumcision is.
6:30: pack up to switch houses.
7:00: ladies’ night–tea and cookies with some moms at somebody’s house.
9:30: drive to a third home, socialize.
10:00: start dealing with emails and scheduling and the like.
eventually: bed.

Lesson learned: never say, “It’s okay, I’ll shower after Mass.”

Somehow, I think this picture is relevant. It has nothing to do with the weather I'm currently enduring. Let it snow!
Somehow, I think this picture is relevant–maybe because my no-shower hair is equally disastrous, if less obviously so? It certainly has nothing to do with the weather I’m currently enduring. Let it snow!

13 from 2013

It’s not often that I get to link up with other bloggers, but I think y’all might be interested in seeing some of what I was doing in 2013. So I’m joining Dwija et al. for her 2013 in 13 photos linkup. Enjoy!

It was a year of weather extremes, from Hawaii in January:

Camera 360to Indiana in February:

And Kansas in April, and Colorado in May, and Montana in June....
And Kansas in April, and Colorado in May, and Montana in June….

I spent a lot of time on the road:

Colorado in April.
Colorado in April.

and went pretty far off the beaten path:

Kansas in April. Who knew dirt road actually meant dirt road? And that it turned into mud in the rain? In case you hadn't figured it out, I'm kind of a city girl.
Who knew dirt road actually meant dirt road? And that it turned into mud in the rain? In case you hadn’t figured it out, I’m kind of a city girl. Kansas in April.

I met up with tons of old friends. Really, I saw just about everyone I love in my 47 state tour:1

High school youth group friends (and offspring), Colorado in April.
High school youth group friends (and offspring). Colorado in April.

and met some all stars:

Yeah, I stayed down the hall from him. Got his blessing. It's okay to be a little bit jealous.
Yeah, I stayed down the hall from him. Got his blessing. It’s okay to be a little bit jealous. North Dakota in June.

I spoke a lot–in 25 states–in venues both formal:

Maryland in August.
Maryland in August.

and less so:

 

Vegas in May.
Vegas in May.

I learned to dance:

Texas in October
Texas in October.

got another godson:

Texas in October.
Texas in October.

and turned 30:

That's birthday quiche with candles in it. Nebraska in September.
That’s birthday quiche with candles in it. Nebraska in September.

I had some unexpected heartbreak:

With my late father on the day of my baptism. California in December 1983.
With my late father on the day of my baptism. California in December, 1983.

but had a lot of little ones to snuggle me through it:

Yes, this is cheating, but I didn't have a picture of me with all five. All pictures copyright 2013, Miriam A. Kilmer.
Yes, this is cheating, but I didn’t have a picture of me with all five. All pictures copyright 2013, Miriam A. Kilmer. December in Virginia.

Thanks for coming with me this year, friends. Here’s to grace and joy in 2014!

2013 linkup

  1. Alaska, New Mexico, and Arkansas. I was in Arkansas in 2012, though. []

Recycling My Way Through Advent

I’m pretty much just keeping my head above water this Advent. I mean, emotionally I’m doing really well, and I may even write about why one of these days. (Long story short: 1 Corinthians 15:55) And I’m so grateful for all the support and especially the prayers y’all have been pouring my way. But when you add all the funeral planning and helping people process to traveling and speaking and then OH WAIT it’s almost Christmas better crochet all the presents—well, y’all aren’t gonna get a lot of blogging this Advent. But I did a lot last year, when many of you weren’t yet reading, so I thought maybe I’d point you over that way.

If you’re stressing about not chanting enough Latin or owning enough Nativity sets or cross-stitching your own Jesse Tree ornaments, here’s a reassurance: you’re doing it right.

If you haven’t yet bought all your Christmas presents (I’ve never yet bought all my presents before Christmas itself, let alone ten days out) and you’re looking for inspiration, I’ve got some recommendations for you:

Last year, I decided that on top of baby-wrangling and crocheting presents for everybody at the last minute, I should also write a reflection on each of the great Advent antiphons. It was a great exercise but it’s definitely not happening this year, so if you want to meditate on the antiphon each day, click back through to last year’s:

I hope your Advent is filled with silence and longing and undeserved joy. I hope you recognize your sin and the God who would stop at nothing to save you from it. I hope you run to the confessional and rest in the promise of Isaiah and listen to the deep theology in the Christmas hymns. Skip the presents and the baking if that’s what it takes–tell your family to blame me. Prepare for the Christ Child–and then celebrate till at least Epiphany. If it’s worth a month of preparation, it deserves at least two weeks of celebration, right? Happy Advent, friends. Be holy.

48 States

Friends, I write to you from a random coffee shop in some town in upstate New York1 where fall has already hit (it’s 55 degrees and sunny at 2pm) and half the radio stations are in French. But despite the sweet small town community that’s coming and going around me, the world is dark today. There is tumult and terror in the world (as always, God help us) and I know I ought to write about Syria. And maybe eventually I will. But right now, I have nothing to offer but sorrow and a plea for prayer and fasting. So take a minute and offer a prayer for peace.

And now let’s just geek out a minute with a little update on my life.

48 states travel mapLook at that cool map! You can see everything about it (or at least the parts I remembered to add) here. These are my travels over the last 15 months. Why am I showing you the map now? Because on Monday I hit 48 states!2 And not just 48 states as a hobo–48 states in 365 days, which is awfully exciting. So I thought y’all might like to see everywhere that I remember having gone.

And check out this map:

48 states views by countryThat’s a map of views of my blog in different countries, with a list of countries where I get the most hits on the left. Do you see that people are reading my blog in India? And rather frequently in the Philippines? What a funny thing the internet is! And my blog has been viewed in 158 countries! Now I can’t say if all those views were intentional or not, but probably each page view means a die-hard fan. And since Google tells me there are only 196 countries in the world which means I’m famous in more than 80% of the world!!

Camera 360In the past 15 months, I’ve slept in at least 88 beds/couches/patches of linoleum and given at least 100 talks/retreats/conferences. I’ve stayed in 36 states and spoken in 22.3 I’ve been to Mass in 36 states, but not the same 36 that I’ve stayed in–one of the idiosyncrasies of the hobo life.

So thanks! Thanks to everyone who read or subscribed or shared a post. Thanks to those who invited me to speak or just to visit. Thanks for recommending me to your priest or youth minister, even if nothing came of it. Thanks for your prayers, without which I’d be even more of a disaster than I am. I don’t know how long I’ll be doing this hobo thing, but I know I couldn’t do it without you all. To God be the glory!

And now, after 15 months of intense and systematic research, I’ve come up with some definitive judgments about the United States.4

  • Most hospitable: the U.S. Military.
  • Worst traffic: L.A. It’s constant and impenetrable. I don’t know how people live that way–and I grew up in D.C. I guess the beach and the constant sunshine are pretty good consolations for the gridlock.

    Camera 360
    Just going out for lemonade.
  • Coolest public transportation: Rhode Island water taxis.
  • Most surprising beauty: Utah. I don’t know why I thought it was a flat desert (you’d think the skiing in the Olympics would have tipped me off) but I was stunned by the beauty of the green mountains plunging into crystal clear lakes. Incredible.
  • Most ridiculous: New York. These people really don’t ever sleep! Add to that the traffic and the crowds and the noise and that topless lady in Times Square, and I’ll enjoy my visit but be happy to leave.
  • Most responsive to my ministry: U.S. Military women/wives, western Kansas, the Georgia Tech Catholic Center.
  • Best liturgical music: St. Benedict’s of Wild Rice in Horace, North Dakota. No, really.
  • Worst cell reception: Montana. Honorable mentions: Wyoming, Vermont, New Hampshire, Idaho, western Kansas, upstate New York. Maybe I just need a new provider….
  • Hardest to find an open church: Las Vegas.
  • This...striking tabernacle is not in one of the glorious old Polish/Italian/German churches.
    This…striking tabernacle is not in one of the glorious old Polish/Italian/German churches.

    Most beautiful churches: Cleveland, of all places.

  • Best liturgy: The diocese of Arlington and the diocese of Madison. And it’s a good thing about Madison, too–Masses in other parts of Wisconsin left me near despair.
  • Most enthusiastic: all college students.
  • Most beautiful homes: Mobile, Alabama.
  • Most ridiculous weather: Colorado. Snow in May? 60 degrees the next day? Go home, Colorado, you’re drunk.
  • Most exciting youth programs: St. John’s in Hollywood, Maryland. Kids evangelizing kids–it’s great! And they’re working on a way to spread their program to parishes around the country. If you’re interested, let me know. I’ll get you the information when it’s available.
  • Favorite new food: fried pies in Texas.
  • Most unpaved roads: Vermont. I drove 20 miles on unpaved roads to get from Mass this morning to tonight’s destination. Not because Google was stupid or because of construction. Apparently, that’s just how they roll.
  • Most likely to have traffic for no good reason: Pennsylvania. Also DC, but that’s not news to anybody.
  • Most likely to be under construction: Minnesota.
  • The view from the road in Montana...in June.
    The view from the road in Montana…in June.

    Most scenic views from the road: Oregon and Montana.

  • Worst drivers: Boston. Why do they even have lane markings?
  • Best grocery store: Wegmans.
  • Highest tolls: NYC.
  • Most obnoxious tolls: Orlando. If you don’t have Florida’s pass, you have to pull off the highway to pay a toll every 3 miles. Which brings me to my soap box: WHY can we not have a universal toll pass in this country? Surely my EZPass could work on tolls in other toll systems–why doesn’t it???
  • Funniest: The little girl in Kansas whose “question” at the end of my talk was “Sometimes we puke in the sink.”
    • Tied with YFL conference leaders–check out this amazing video they made for my evangelization talk. Spot on, and they hadn’t even met me!
  • Emptiest: Wyoming. At least the southern half. Man, there’s just nothing there!
  • Most likely to secede: Maine. They’re already using kilometers, folks. It’s just a matter of time.

There you have it–feel free to defend your hometown in the comments. And in case you’re wondering, the next few months look a little like this: New York, Iowa, Nebraska, South Dakota, Minnesota, Kansas, Oklahoma, Texas, Louisiana, Alabama, Georgia, North Carolina, Virginia, Kansas, Maryland, Hawaii…Illinois…the Cayman Islands…Virginia…California? It gets a little vague after January. For more details, check out the schedule that I sometimes remember to update. And if you want me to come speak anywhere to any group on any topic (marginally related to Jesus) for free, just let me know!

P.S. Need something to smile about? How about our fantastic pope?

  1. Well, okay, I started there. But then the owner of that little coffee shop in that little town wants to close up to go see a friend before taking his wife out to celebrate their anniversary. So now I’m in somebody’s house. []
  2. Alaska and New Mexico. I’ve got something in the works for Alaska, but not till the summer. New Mexico needs to get on the ball! []
  3. So you might not count my having driven through the others as having been there. But…well, deal with it. []
  4. Even the ones I’ve only driven through a corner of for half an hour. Sorry Arizona–it was a remarkable 30 miles. []

Links You’ll Love (And Others That’ll Tick You Off)

With everything that went on last week, my browser still has a good 40 tabs open. I can hardly scan Facebook without opening another 5 or 6 articles that could blow my mind. But in case your Facebook friends aren’t as holy and brilliant as mine, I thought I’d share some of this past week’s highlights:

If only....
If only….

If you use pornography–ever–you have to stop. Marc Barnes will tell you why with three secular arguments against porn–brace yourself. And then click over to find some great internet resources to help you kick the habit.

After last week’s #standwithWendy debacle, it might help to know what Wendy Davis was standing for before you read a scathing letter addressed to America’s new darling.

Emily Stimpson is spot on with her plea to our spiritual fathers to be who they were ordained to be. These lines in particular had me shouting my agreement and then awkwardly looking around the room to see if anyone had noticed:

The Church’s liturgy and architecture should reveal a richness of beauty and belief that robs the gruel fed to us by the culture of all its appeal. It should move us to love God and neighbor more. It should make us long for Heaven. It should make us sorry for our sins.

On Sundays, don’t tell me to be nice; tell me to be holy. Don’t tell me to trust God; tell me who God is. Don’t even tell me to be faithful; tell me what faithful means. Explain holiness. Explain sin. Be specific. Preach on what lust, gluttony, selfishness, laziness, pride, anger, and vanity are, why they’re bad for me, and how to avoid them. Preach the Creed. Preach the saints. Preach the story of salvation history. And preach it in all its fullness. … Don’t waste your precious 10 minutes in front of a semi-captive audience repeating fluff we can get from Oprah.

My beautiful friend Adele went to the doctor with a heavy heart and got some very good news. It’s  beautiful story and she could use a lot of prayers!

Elizabeth writes in defense of men. And while I taught her senior religion class, I can’t take any credit for her brilliance. She was incredible when she got to me–and just had a beautiful baby boy, adding to my roster of “grandchildren.”

When people in Wisconsin tell you they belong to a country parish, they're not kidding.
When people in Wisconsin tell you they belong to a country parish, they’re not kidding.

Archbishop Cordileone of San Francisco gave a phenomenal interview on homosexual unions back in March that’s more relevant now than it was then. He explains the secular case against gay marriage and what some of the consequences of its legalization might be.

R.J. Snell explains why we’re losing the culture wars. In short, we’ve found ourselves in a position where our opposition is in favor of love and equality and has a monopoly, it seems, on all the sentiments that surround them. Meanwhile we use words like telos and ontological to try to combat images of wedding dresses and happy families.

In cased you missed it with all the noise from the repeal of DOMA and the heroics of Wendy Davis, the HHS mandate made further strides last week. Archbishop Carlson of St. Louis explains why all Americans should object to it:

If government can force Catholics to pay for something we find morally wrong, why can’t it force you to participate in something you object to? You would not force a vegetarian to pay for your hamburger or an atheist to buy you a Bible, would you? Then why would you force a Catholic to pay for your contraceptives?

Still we are not going gentle–check out a letter urging Americans to stand up for religious freedom signed by Catholics, Orthodox, Protestants, Mormons, a Jew, a Vaisnava,1 and even a Scientologist. Did I miss any?

Christina gets real about learning to forgive herself. As an aside, you should really read her blog. If nothing else, read it on Fridays when she posts her links roundup for the week–half of the worthwhile things I read I find through her.

Waiting in the tabernacle

This letter begging fathers to be gentle and kind and loving with their kids could be addressed to all parents. I’ll add my own thought (having been a foster mother) that parents should do everything–everything–in their power to keep from yelling at their children in anger. And when you do, you apologize and tell them over and over how much you love them.

I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised that the Netherlands is working to legalize euthanasia for children. That’s right: allowing children to decide that it’s time to die. Don’t worry, though–parents are already allowed to euthanize their infants, so we’re not leaving entirely in the hands of children.

I’ll leave you with a heartwarming story about a father’s love. This man was livid when he found out that his second child would be born with Down Syndrome. He even tried to convince his wife to abort her. It wasn’t until months after she was born that he realized what a gift she was–and wanted to show the world. He began running marathons with her and even had “Down Syndrome” tattooed across his chest. “It’s the first thing people think when they see her. I want it to be the first thing they think when they see me, too.”

By the way–this 15-minute segment aired on ESPN. Color me impressed!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q4foXehDmWs&feature=player_embedded

Will you take a minute to pray for my seminarian friend Joel? St. Thomas is his patron Saint, so I try to remember him on July 3rd every year.

When in doubt, search for Caravaggio.
When in doubt, search for Caravaggio.
  1. Person who practices Hare Krishna. Yeah, I had to Google that. []

One Year and Counting

Well, friends, it’s been a year. One year of crazy-driving, blogging, speaking, couch-crashing, hobo fun. When I started this ministry a year ago, I figured that I’d live out of my car for a month or two before settling down. But the longer I do this, the more I feel like this might be a long-term thing. The Lord doesn’t seem to like it when I plan, so I have no idea what “long term” means, but…well, a while.

So what have I done this year?

  • Taken up permanent residence in my car
  • Started a Facebook page and a Twitter account
  • Gotten a cell phone
  • Visited 37 states (should be up to at least 44 by the end of the summer–New England, here I come!)
  • Spoken in 14 states
  • Put 30,000 miles on my car
  • Spoken to thousands of people from age 3 to 97
  • Done one-on-one ministry with dozens of people
  • Written 128 blog posts
  • Had 215,000 page views
  • Racked up 500 likes on my Facebook page
  • Done a whole lot of discerning
  • Stayed with dozens of friends and strangers who became friends
  • Taken a break to help my sister with her million babies
  • Ignored trolls
  • Persevered through a lot of boring prayer
  • Walked in both (American) oceans and the Gulf of Mexico
  • Gone from the Redwood forest to the Gulf Sea waters
  • Had more than my fair share of car trouble
  • Been shocked by the generosity of God’s people
  • Learned to accept generosity
  • Given plenty of talks that were so Spirit-led I wanted to stop and ask someone to record them just so I could listen and learn later
  • Fallen flat and remembered that it’s not about me
  • Made people cry
  • Made people angry
  • Begun to realize that whatever I might believe about myself, nobody else thinks I’m needy and self-obsessed
  • Felt absolutely wanted
  • Felt completely disregarded
  • Been terrified but hopeful1
  • Made plans 6 months in advance
  • Given a talk with 10 seconds notice
  • Changed the topic of my talk five minutes in
  • Been recognized by a stranger
  • Been on the radio
  • Been nominated for an award
  • Driven 12-hour-days without batting an eye
  • Experienced Providence at work every single day–in crazy ways
  • Spent January in Virginia, Georgia, Hawaii, and Florida
  • Spent February in Indiana and northern Ohio
  • Seen snow in May
  • Almost passed out from heat exhaustion a week later
  • Gotten 3 new nieces
  • Had so much work to do I’m exhausted
  • Had so little work to do I’m bored out of my mind
  • Tried and tried and tried to trust and let Him lead

Thank you to everyone who’s invited me to speak or shared my blog or commented or liked a post or followed me on Facebook or slipped some money into my hand or thanked me for speaking or shared your heart with me or prayed for me or prayed with me for others or loved and supported me in any way. If I didn’t have y’all supporting me, I couldn’t do anything. God is using you and your openness and kindness and generosity to do (I hope) good work in this world. Thank you.

And now, a little slide show of highlights from this year:

Become a godmother again
Become a godmother again
Been so fun--and sober.
Been so fun–and sober
Had fun with the big kids
And the littles. And Charlotte who I know I have a picture with but I can't find it right now.
And the littles. And Charlotte who I know I have a picture with but I can’t find it right now
Dealt with a lot of snow.
Dealt with a lot of snow
Gotten stuck in the mud.
Gotten stuck in the mud
Been to some very random states
Been to some very random states
Preached on the streets
Preached on the streets
And the beach
And the beach
Met up with former students all over the country
Met up with former students all over the country
Stood inside a redwood
Stood inside a redwood

And a million other things I forgot to take pictures of. Keep on praying for me, friends!

  1. For those who are wondering, John’s out of the ICU and in a neurological rehab facility. His parents are optimistic and there have been plenty of miracles but not (yet) the miracle of a full recovery–or even of speech. Please keep praying. []

Adventures of a Catholic in Mormonland

If you follow me on Facebook (and you should), you know that I spent Thursday and Friday wandering around Utah in this shirt:

Courtesy of the fabulous St. Lawrence Center at KU.
Courtesy of the fabulous St. Lawrence Center at KU.

I figured Mormons understand evangelization and wouldn’t be offended by my offer of dialogue–but I ran it by some LDS friend first to be sure. They thought people would be far more curious than offended, so off I went. When I got to Temple Square on Thursday afternoon, I went straight to the visitors’ center to ask for a tour. But I’m not a jerk, so I told the missionary there who I am:

“Just so you know, I’m a Catholic missionary. I don’t want to step on any toes but I’ve got some pretty deep questions that I haven’t been able to find answers to in my research.”

I totally forgot to take a picture of the Temple. But this lady didn't!
I totally forgot to take a picture of the Temple. But this lady didn’t!

Every time I met a different missionary, I told her something along these lines–I didn’t want anyone to feel ambushed when I started asking for answers beyond the basics. Unfortunately, anything beyond the basics was met with confusion. One missionary told me she was a polytheist, another said she definitely wasn’t. They didn’t know if their Prophet was infallible and didn’t want to say if Heavenly Father had a father. They didn’t know the formula for baptism and were pretty sure they don’t pray to Jesus. It didn’t take long for me to realize that I wasn’t going to get my confusion about Mormon doctrine resolved here.

But let’s be fair: how many 20-year-old Catholics could answer hard questions like that? I would hope that the ones who are in full-time ministry would have a grasp on theology, but if mission work is pretty much expected, as it is in the LDS church, there’s no guarantee of any theological sophistication in any given missionary. And I think they were told not to answer complex questions, which actually makes a lot of sense to me. Mormon theology can sound pretty crazy–as can any theology if you’re not used to it; after all, I worship a cracker. And these ladies aren’t just random Mormon girls trying to answer a question–they’re wearing name tags, which makes them authorities in the eyes of the world. So if they try to answer one of the harder questions and mess it up hardcore, they just further the stereotype of crazy Mormons.

Seriously, these Mormons know from flowers.
Seriously, these Mormons know from flowers.

Rather than give a wrong (or even unclear)  answer, they just don’t touch the tough stuff. I can understand. And I didn’t go there to destroy anyone’s faith, so I admired the landscaping, listened to their heartfelt testimonies, talked about how faith makes trials bearable, rejoiced in our mutual love of the Lord, collected my free Book of Mormon, and moved on.

The next hour wandering Temple Square elicited no questions except from one Protestant (about whom more another time). So home I went, hoping for a busier day at BYU on Friday.

After my uninformative evening at Temple Square, I figured my best bet would be to approach a theology professor at BYU–surely those guys would have answers. And friends, I was not disappointed. My hosts had recommended that I speak with their neighbor, Alonzo Gaskill, a Mormon professor of World Religions and convert from Greek Orthodoxy. From the moment he opened the door, I was blown away.

Seriously, this guy is one of my favorite people I’ve met all year. He spent three hours–THREE HOURS–answering all of my questions and asking all about me and sharing his testimony and offering to pray for me and even–after THREE HOURS of helping me understand Mormonism–making a donation to my ministry. Really, a prince among men.

But I wouldn’t recommend that any of you talk to him. Because Prof. Gaskill is really convincing. I mean, I think I emerged fairly unscathed (although you can always pray for my faith and perseverance), but this guy absolutely obliterated the stereotpye that Mormonism is irrational or incoherent. He was using Scripture and the Fathers and doing a fantastic job. And he was kind and reasonable and interested in answering my actual question, not the question he wanted to answer. He wanted my opinions on things and appreciated it when I corrected his understanding of Catholicism. He clearly respects the Catholic Church and respected me as a Catholic and as an intellectual. Maybe one day I’ll write something for y’all about Mormonism but for now suffice it to say that it’s a lot closer to orthodox Christianity than I ever thought possible but that I’m still not convinced.1

Coming off of that high, I went back out on campus. I’d wandered for an hour earlier, feeling super-awkward and in-your-face in my shirt, but nobody had approached me. This time, I tried standing by a bench praying a rosary. I think it was pretty clear that I was waiting for people and this time I had a little more luck: four conversations in two hours.

Interestingly, only one person actually had a question. She wanted to know what rosary beads were, so I explained the rosary and the mysteries and how it’s a Christocentric prayer. She was very attentive and after we talked about her life a little bit, she headed home.

I mean, it's no Notre Dame, but they do have a big mountain with a Y on it, which is pretty sweet. (Source)
I mean, it’s no Notre Dame, but they do have a big mountain with a Y on it, which is pretty sweet. (Source)

The other three conversations were just young men who were trying to be nice. One guy came up to me just because he could tell I wanted to talk to someone so we talked for a while about his life and being a person of faith. I had a similar conversation with another young man who told me that he had stopped because “it’s always good to see someone who takes their faith seriously.”

One young man stopped to chat. When I asked if he had any questions about the Catholic faith, he thought for a minute. “I don’t really know much about it, so…I guess, tell me about Catholicism.” Talk about a broad question! I ended up talking about the Eucharist since I figured trying to explain the differences in our understanding of God would be a bit much. Again, very polite and attentive but I wasn’t trying to convince him, really, and he wasn’t interested in being convinced. So eventually, he moved on, too.

All in all, I had a great afternoon at BYU. I was a bit taken aback by the guy who was doing a magic trick that required girls to kiss him–at BYU, of all places–but the marriage proposal I witnessed later on more than made up for it. I got a few quick greetings and a number of smiles–gotta love friendly Mormons. Nobody was rude to me; even the guy who asked, “Are you really a Catholic?” was being friendly in an odd kind of way. And while I didn’t “accomplish” much while standing around waiting to answer questions people didn’t ask, it was a beautiful day with pleasant people and who knows what the Lord is doing in people’s hearts? I don’t at all expect that people saw my shirt, went home to start Googling, and will be joining RCIA in the fall. But if one person who saw me becomes a better Mormon because of it, it was time well spent.

Next up: Sin City with St. Paul Street Evangelization! Come, Holy Spirit.

  1. Among other reasons: “the gates of hell will not prevail against [the Church]” but it was completely wrong for 1700 years; no first cause; no Real Presence; the King James Version; I’m not convinced by Joseph Smith or his testimony; eternal marriage strikes me as unbiblical; I believe in Ecumenical Councils; I think the Trinity and the Godhead are two completely different concepts and that oneness in being and oneness in purpose are not the same thing; I don’t think the Father was ever human. But man they’re good at families and community and evangelization and modest fashion and just being really good people. []